The King of Randomness
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: A collection of drabbles featuring your favorite fighters in hilarious, yet unexpected situations that will make you scratch your head and leave you wondering. Beware what you wish for. Note: Some of the chapters will include my favorite fanon couple, Kyo and Mai. Chapter 5: King gets prank called by an unknown caller. Who is it?
1. Kyo loves melons

**"The King of Randomness"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with the King of Fighters. For the rating itself, I made it to M for strong language and a bit of sex is included. Oh, yeah... and not to mention that some of the chapters will include my two favorite characters, Kyo Kusanagi and Mai Shiranui, which I call them Flameshipping. No offense, Andy/Mai fans, although you will have chapters that include Andy and Mai too. Anyway, here we go.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Kyo loves melons<strong>

The downtown Southtown Supermarket. Of course, it was just an ordinary place where people go to buy food made from the freshest products on earth. Wherever it was milk, meat, bread, desserts, they had it from A to Z.

But in a day like this, a flame-bringing couple were busy strolling around for fruits. One wore a sleeveless red tunic with a decorative waistband and the other was dressed in his usual leather jacket with a sun emblazoned on the back.

Mai was busy searching for melons, while Kyo was rolling the shopping cart, growing very restless for endless hours.

"Mai, can we go now? It's starting to get boring around here." Kyo sighed.

"In a minute Kyo, I just need to see which one of these melons are ripe." Mai replied.

"Good god..." Kyo groaned again, hitting his head towards the cart rail.

Luckily, his wait was over when Mai managed to grab two juicy cantaloupes.

"Kyo, wake up!" Mai shouted.

Suddenly, Kyo managed to shake himself loose and woke up.

"Huh? What?" Kyo groaned again, finally getting Mai's attention.

"Kyo, can you do me a favor?" Mai replied, holding up the two cantaloupes. "Can you feel these melons and see if they're firm, juicy and ripe?"

"Sure, no problem." Kyo smiled.

With a smirk, Kyo opened up his hands...

...

...

...

...and grabbed Mai's breasts!

"AAAAH!" Mai shrieked. "You pig!"

With such anger that could contain a volcano, Mai slugged Kyo right in the kisser! The result sent Kyo flying out of orbit.

"FUUUUUUUUCK!" Kyo screamed in pain.

The blow somehow sent Kyo flying through the meat section, landing on a stack of steaks!

"Owwww!" Kyo groaned in pain, "Mai, what the hell? You told me I could touch the melons!"

"Yeah, but I didn't mean my breasts, you fucktard!" Mai lashed out at him.

"I couldn't help it. This store gets very confusing sometimes!" Kyo cried out.

"Like this relationship!" Mai replied, "If you want this sexual relationship to go on between us, I appreciate it if you quit trying to feel me up every time I make a sex reference! Now get up so we can look for rump roast."

But before Mai could leave, she gave Kyo one last warning.

"And if you even think about touching my ass as a sex pun, you can ever forget having a cock, mister!" Mai threatened him.

As Mai finally left for the meat aisle, Kyo spent his time trying to heal his wounds.

"Okay, I might have regretted that..." he muttered.

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><p><strong>Always remember that sex and food don't go well together.<strong>

**Anyway, more random crap to come next. R&R!**


	2. Alba gets some disturbing news

**"The King of Randomness"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with the King of Fighters. For the rating itself, I made it to M for strong language and a bit of sex is included. Oh, yeah... and not to mention that some of the chapters will include my two favorite characters, Kyo Kusanagi and Mai Shiranui, which I call them Flameshipping. No offense, Andy/Mai fans, although you will have chapters that include Andy and Mai too. Anyway, here we go.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Alba Gets Some Disturbing News<br>**

Somewhere inside the local coffee shop at Southtown, Alba Meira was busy sipping his cup of Viennese coffee with his fiancee, Luise Meyrink.

"Wow, this coffee's very good. I never had anything sweet like this before." Alba replied, feeling the flavor of his lips.

"It's actually my favorite," Luise spoke back. "Once you feel the flavor through your lips, you'll have no choice but to taste it again."

"I hear ya." Alba chuckled.

With such patience, Alba continued their conversation, "So is there any-"

"I'M PREGNANT AND YOU'RE THE FATHER OF MY BABY!" Luise intentionally shouted out.

Alba didn't even know what to say out of all of this. He never imagined that someone, especially his fiancee would blare out something like that. Nevertheless, it was true to find out that Luise was holding Alba's bastard child. Realizing this news, the so-called King of Southtown took in a very deep breath.

And after a moment of silence, Alba finally had the heart to speak out these words to his love...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"You must be one total slut, huh?" Alba muttered at her.

"Definitely..." Luise muttered back, sipping her drink.

Regarding Luise's sudden pregnancy, she and Alba never spoke about that subject again.

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><p><strong>Well, that came out of the black and blue.<br>**

**Anyway, more random crap coming soon, so R&R!**


	3. Terry's special yellow snowcone

**"The King of Randomness"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with the King of Fighters. For the rating itself, I made it to M for strong language and a bit of sex is included. Oh, yeah... and not to mention that some of the chapters will include my two favorite characters, Kyo Kusanagi and Mai Shiranui, which I call them Flameshipping. No offense, Andy/Mai fans, although you will have chapters that include Andy and Mai too. Anyway, here we go.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Terry's special yellow snowcone<br>**

It was a snowy day at Southtown as Terry Bogard and Rock Howard are enjoying two tasty snow-cones next to a snow-cone stand. Terry was chowing down on a lemon-flavored snow-cone, while Rock got himself company with a cherry flavored one.

"Man, these snowcones are good!" Terry exclaimed.

"I actually peed in that, you know." Rock smirked.

From there, Terry cringed at the thought. He didn't know Rock actually pissed on Terry's snow-cone. I guess he didn't even see Rock do something idiotic like this.

But as much as he wanted to throw it away...

...Terry kept on eating it.

"Ah, hell with it. Everything tastes like piss anyway." Terry smirked, chowing down on the piss-flavored snow-cone.

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><p><strong>Okay, that was odd. And strange.<br>**

**More random crap coming soon.**


	4. Mai's got milk

**"The King of Randomness"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with the King of Fighters. For the rating itself, I made it to M for strong language and a bit of sex is included. Oh, yeah... and not to mention that some of the chapters will include my two favorite characters, Kyo Kusanagi and Mai Shiranui, which I call them Flameshipping. No offense, Andy/Mai fans, although you will have chapters that include Andy and Mai too. Anyway, here we go.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Mai's got milk<br>**

Andy Bogard was out jogging on his morning commute. After all, running in place was an important part of training. That way it can build up reflexes and increase quickness. He ended up jogging a good portion of Southtown. From the boardwalk, to the Pao Pao Cafe, and around a neighborhood park.

Yet when he got back, his stomach felt a little dry. His guess was that he forgot to fill up on refreshments.

When he got back to his house, his fiancee Mai was waiting for him.

"Hey, Andy. How was your run?" Mai smiled to him.

"Beat and spent as hell," Andy groaned, "You got something I can drink?"

"I'm already on it!" Mai winked.

Within no time to waste, Mai already grabbed a clear glass.

She then went to the fridge, only to find out that she ran out of milk.

"Crap. No milk..." Mai sighed. "Oh well, at least Andy won't know."

As she looked both sides of the kitchen (just to see if Andy wasn't there), Mai pulled one of her big succulent breasts out.

With such a tender grasp, she started squeezing her big tits firmly. From there, a shot of milk appeared straight from her nipples. She managed to hit the target quite nicely, until the glass was full of milk.

"There. That oughta do it." Mai said, putting her breasts back in her red tunic.

She then grabbed the glass of her breast milk, and gave it to Andy.

"Here you go!"

"Ah, breast milk! My fav!" Andy said in rejoice.

With an ounce of joy, Andy downed the entire glass. For fun, a nice little milk moustache appeared on his lips.

"Man, that was good!" Andy exclaimed. "Could've used a little bit sugar though."

"I'll remember that for next time." Mai nodded.

"Anyway, I gotta get going again." Andy said, right before he walked out the door to do more jogging.

"Be back before dinner!" Mai hollered out to him.

But right before Andy left the house, Kyo Kusanagi came over with a blender in hand.

"Hey Mai, you got a minute?" Kyo said.

"No problem, Kyo." She responded back.

"I'm trying to make some strawberry milkshakes, but I ran out of milk," Kyo replied. "You have any milk I can borrow?"

"Sure." Mai nodded. "I'll show you where the milk jugs are."

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><p><strong>Okay, this was a bit weird, but nevertheless, it was unexpected. Of course, Mai's the only person whose breasts could contain a lot of dairy inside, so I'm not complaining.<strong>

**Anyway, more random drabbles to come pretty soon, so stay focused!**


	5. King gets prank called

**"The King of Randomness"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with the King of Fighters. For the rating itself, I made it to M for strong language and a bit of sex is included. Oh, yeah... and not to mention that some of the chapters will include my two favorite characters, Kyo Kusanagi and Mai Shiranui, which I call them Flameshipping. No offense, Andy/Mai fans, although you will have chapters that include Andy and Mai too. Anyway, here we go.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: King gets prank called<br>**

It was yet another rowdy day inside the L'amour bar. King was busy wiping glasses when she hears a phone rang. Hearing this, King went over to the counter and picked up the phone.

"L'Amour. This is King, speaking." King replied.

_"Yeah, is there a Mr. Freely there?"_ The caller spoke back.

"Who?"

_"A Mr. Freely,"_ The caller slowly spoke. _"The first initial is I. The second is P."_

"Hold on sir, let I'll check," King spoke on the phone, right before she turned to the entire crowd attending inside the bar. "Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Everybody, I. P. Freely!"

But then, the customers suddenly laughed at King. As if it was a joke.

"Wait a goddamn minute," King muttered, suddenly realizing that this was a prank call.

With irritated rage, King spoke down to the caller, who was laughing his/her heart out.

_"_Listen to me, you lousy good for nothing fuck-shit," King shouted on the phone. "When I get a hold of you, I swear I'll rip your heart out, blend it, shred it, and turn it into a fucking bloody mary!"

And then, she slammed on the phone, hanging it up entirely. From there, King's friend Robert Garcia looked right at her with concern.

"Relax, King. You'll get that asshat someday." Robert replied.

"I wouldn't know, Robert," King sighed, getting back to wiping another beer stein. "He's a hard son of a bitch to catch. He keeps changing his name, though, that irritates the fuck out of me."

But as King was busy wiping glasses, much to her displeasure...

...Ryo Sakazaki was laughing outside the bar with a cell phone in hand, revealing himself to be the prank caller. He couldn't believe that King actually admitted it in front of everyone sitting at the bar!

"Ohhhh, and to think that fuck-butt didn't see it coming..." Ryo chuckled and winked.

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><p><strong>Looks like Ryo resorted himself to a new low. It's so hilarious! I bet you can guess what reference this chapter is based out on.<br>**

**Anyway, more random goodness still on the way! **


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